Friday, June 15, 2018

Weirdly gross garden story? IDK


So, as many of you know, we recently moved to a new to us fixer upper in the country. It's been an adventure so far. The best kind. Except for this one thing. Well, OK, there have been a lot of weird things. But this is the worst by far, so far. It seems the old homeowners like to bury potted plants in garden beds. But that's not all. It seems they enjoyed leaving them there for years upon years until the pots filled with roots which basically turned to cement. And BTW – there's more to the story. You'll see.

So... My grand-daughter's very helpful boyfriend was kind enough to remove 4 of these pots from their respective holes and the dirt from the pots. Seriously, these things must have weighed 50 pounds each. I could not budge them. Oh, but we're not done yet. Nope. Because now I had to figure out what the heck to do with the dirt. Thus, I had the brilliant idea to soak the rock hard pieces and break them apart.

You guys, I don't know how many gallons of water I used but it took 4 days of soaking these things for hours with the sprinkler to get three of them to break apart. There's still one left. I am done for the day now, though. I'll worry about that later. But that's not all. Nope. Not at all.

Now, before I go on, let me explain that in the holes left by the pots, I decided to plant a lilac, some rhubarb and some walking onions that I brought from the old house. And also that, once I broke up the dirt, I figured that since it was mostly roots, it might have some nutritional value for my new plants. So, I proceeded to shovel said dirt around the stuff I was planting, in addition, of course to some good soil I bought, so as to take no chances.

Here's the fun part, though. And I should perhaps mention that the old homeowners were hunters. As I'm shoveling the soil back into the hole, my shovel strikes something harder than the cement soil. I look down and at my feet is the jawbone and teeth of I don't know what animal the homeowners killed. They had dogs, you guys. Did they give their dogs this to chew on? Wait. Did it come from one of their dogs? Was this a burial ground? Ugh! And BTW, even the irony of the dogs chewing on a jawbone from another animal grossed me out. Ugh again!

So guys, if you garden, here's a tip for you. Do not bury pots full of plants and leave them for decades. And if you do, please do not bury them with parts from the animals you have slaughtered. Because the new homeowner may be an herbivore with a chronic illness who has better things to do than deal with your 50 pound cement blocks and your nasty hunting leftovers.

Funny/Not funny

And I refuse to take pictures. Yuck!

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